Reflections: Part Deux

Hi!

After blogging the other night for the first time in nearly 2 years, I decided to read back through some of my posts since I started this blog, and now I feel inspired to write again. This time about life in general. Plus, it’s 3:40 am, and guess what: I have insomnia!

In reading through my posts, I’ve reconnected with the idea that I really have an incredible life. Despite anxiety, despite insomnia, despite the external stressors that I’m dealing with at the moment. My life is really awesome, and I’ve lost sight of that recently.

I mentioned in a post way back that I dealt with some crippling anxiety in my early twenties. It wasn’t permanent, and I was able to overcome it with enough positive thinking, meditation, and constant reminders that I am powerful, and that I can overcome any challenges that come my way.

Well, over the past 10 months or so, I’ve been dealing with what feels like “crippling” anxiety again. I’ll start from the beginning…

Moving to South Africa was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Although it placed me far away from my family and some of the best friends I will ever have in my life, I found somewhere that finally felt like “home” to me. And I’ve connected with people who are also some of the best friends I will ever have in my life.

My time in South Africa was initially only supposed to be 2 years. But after falling completely in love with the Rainbow Nation, I decided to extend my work contract by another year so I could continue experiencing SA and living my life to the fullest. Then, when my 3rd year was coming to a close, I decided I still wanted to stay, so I extended my work contract by another 2 years. I just wasn’t ready to leave such a beautiful country. I wasn’t ready to leave the place that had become my home.

However, I knew that towards the end of my 4th year, I’d have to apply for a new work visa. Other people I knew had done it, no problem. I figured it would be stressful, but not something that would literally leave me feeling like I’m dangling off the edge of a cliff…

Towards the end of 2017, I started getting my paperwork together. I had to:

• Apply with the South African Qualifications Authority (SAQA) so they could evaluate my degree and give me a special certification for my undergraduate degree
• Apply to become a certified professional with SACNASP (South African Council for Natural Scientific Professionals)
• Obtain a police clearance certificate from the South African Police Service (SAPS)
• Obtain a police clearance certificate from the FBI
• Get a chest x-ray and complete a Radiological Certificate
• Get a physical and complete a Medical Clearance Certificate
• Hire an immigration attorney to assist with the whole process
• Go to bank and get 3 months of bank statements
• Apply for a new passport
• Get a certified copy of my landlord’s ID and print a copy of my lease agreement
• Get a certified copy of my divorce decree

… and countless other miscellaneous documents.

Believe me, doing all of this was no small undertaking. It took me 8 months to get all of this together (due to bureaucracy and slow processing times for various certifications I applied for).

But the icing on the cake? The fact that I wasn’t allowed to apply for a new visa while in South Africa. I was actually required to fly back to the US to submit my application, and basically wait there while the application is being processed.

So much for my vow of not traveling anywhere outside of SA or getting on any airplanes in 2018…

There were a few snafus upon submitting the application at the South African Consulate General in NYC, but I managed to clear them up relatively quickly. Basically they told me I needed documents that neither their website, nor my immigration attorney, said were required. But that’s a governmental organization for you… Just making up rules along the way.

Their website, and my immigration attorney, said the application would take 3-4 weeks to process, so I scheduled myself to be in the US for 5 weeks (just to be safe). However, upon submitting the application, they told me it would be 4 weeks minimum. Ok, fine. Hopefully it wouldn’t take much longer than that.

Well, it took longer than 4 weeks. It took long enough that I had to push out my flight back to SA. I didn’t know how long I would need to push it out for, as the consulate was not answering my phone calls, acknowledging the countless messages I left on their answering machine, nor responding to any of the e-mails I sent them. But I had to make a call, so I assumed pushing the flight out by 2 weeks would be a safe bet.

Another week went by, with more unanswered phone called, more unanswered voice messages, and more unanswered e-mails. I was really starting to panic (and still am). So I resorted to sending them a message on their Facebook page. Much to my surprise, someone answered me within 24 hours! They put me in touch with the person reviewing my application. She told me she needed some additional info, but is ultimately going to finalize my visa and send my passport back to me ASAP.

Thank the fucking Pope!

I’m now 5 days away from when my rescheduled flight is scheduled to depart, and I’m still worrying that I’m not going to get the visa/my passport back in time, and may have to push my flight out AGAIN. But I’m praying to the gods of immigration every second that this all works out!

This whole process has also cost a shitload of money. My company is helping me pay for a lot of it, but I’ve still dished out more of my own $$ than I expected. Especially having to be back in the US for what has now been 6 weeks, paying for things at US prices (and conveniently, while the South African Rand is at its weakest!)

But despite my panic, I keep reminding myself that money is just an object. Money doesn’t define my happiness. Even if I do have to push my flight out again (and spend even more money doing so), the good news is this:

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK.

I will eventually get this visa. I will eventually rebuild my savings. I will eventually see my kittens again (although by the time I return, they won’t be kittens anymore!). I will eventually see my wonderful boyfriend Geoff and my South African besties again. I will eventually be able to get back into going to yoga classes and hitting the rock climbing gym after work. I will eventually be able to go rock climbing outdoors or hiking with friends on the weekends. I will eventually be back in a beautiful, temperate, and perfect climate where it’s not either freezing cold or disgustingly hot and humid and raining all the time. I will eventually be back in my cottage, relaxing on my couch with my love, ordering Uber Eats and binge watching Netflix. I will eventually be able to garden again, and paint, and make jewelry, and practice my flute, and brew beer, and do other weird miscellaneous arts and crafts. I will eventually be able to go on epic adventures with friends. I will eventually be back at work (believe it or not, I’m excited for this), where I can see all of my wonderful colleagues, and actually work ergonomically while sitting at a desk instead of on a couch or bed with my laptop in hand. I will eventually be back in the place that I call home ❤

The past 10 months have really been hell for me. The ball ache of getting all of the visa paperwork together was actually nothing compared to the anxiety of not knowing whether or not I’ll ever be allowed to live in South Africa again. If my visa application was denied, I would have to apply for a tourist permit, and go back to SA to sell all of my stuff, find a new home for my kittens, say goodbye to Geoff and all of my other friends, and start life over again in the US. That’s ultimately the thing that worried me the most, but now I know now that that’s not going to happen.

And reflecting on all of this, I’ve remembered that I’m a really strong person. That I can deal with challenges like this one, and other challenges that will come my way in the future. That despite feeling absolutely hopeless and powerless at times, that it is in my true nature to be hopeful, and powerful.

In reflecting on why I love South Africa so much, I remembered how incredible my life is. How adventurous it is. How interesting it is. How dynamic it is. I’ve remembered that I have amazing friends. That I have the most incredible boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. That I have people in my life with whom I can laugh, be myself, be honest, go on adventures, etc.

And in being back in the US for the past 6 weeks, I’ve remembered how truly amazing my family and friends are. How, despite being so far away from them, and at times not talking to them for months, the bond we have is utterly unbreakable. Since I’ve been back in the US, my parents have taken me in, allowed me to stay with them, cooked for me, bought me things, gave me spending money because I’m broke, supported me emotionally during this stressful time, and have just downright cared for me more than I could have imagined. Perhaps I’ve taken this for granted over the years. They are parents, that’s what they’re supposed to do, right? Well not all parents are as supportive, and I feel so blessed to have them. I’ve connected more with my brothers than I ever have before in my life. I’ve developed the sweetest bond with my 3-year old niece, Emilia. And my sister and I have had a strong bond for a long time, but we are both going through some shit right now and we are supporting each other throughout all of the difficulties we are facing. And although I have amazing friends in SA, my besties here in the US are irreplaceable. Again, bonds that can never be matched, or broken.

It’s been so refreshing to spend quality time with these people who I love. Remembering how much I love my family and friends here is actually going to make my return to SA more difficult. But I still know in my heart that SA is where I belong, and I’m counting down the days until I go home ❤

Over and out.

“Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.”

“Your mind is your prison when you focus on your fear.”

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Insomnia

For the few of you who may have read my blog over the past 4 years since I’ve had one (although posts have been few and far between), you’ll know I initially started this blog to document my adventures of moving to a new country. But over the course of time, my blog has evolved to just being a platform where I can rant and rave about whatever the hell I want. My “public diary” as I like to call it…

And now, I’d like to rant, and rave (and possibly educate?) my very few readers about something I’ve been dealing with my entire life:  insomnia.

I’m sitting here, at 2:40 am, wondering what the f#$% I can do to just fall asleep (for the record, I’ve been laying in bed since about 9:00 pm). Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I read. Sometimes I watch boring TV. Sometimes I play games on my phone. Sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I do a bit of yoga or stretching. Sometimes I listen to peaceful and relaxing music. Sometimes I eat. Sometimes I take sleeping pills (usually natural ones). Sometimes I drink alcohol. Sometimes I use sleep apps to help guide me into dreamland. Overall, nothing really works to knock me out. So tonight, I decided I would try something different, and write about it. Will this work to make me fall asleep? Without question, no. But it beats laying in bed, basking in the misery of my sleeplessness.

I also feel that insomnia, although simply defined as “inability to sleep,” is much more complex and often misunderstood. So I’m just going to give my two cents on what insomnia is from a first-hand perspective, and shed some light on some of the misunderstood aspects of this truly debilitating illness.

 

1.) Insomnia means you never sleep, ever.

Not true. As an insomniac, I deal with sleeplessness frequently. Sometimes it affects me every night for days, weeks, months on end. And sometimes it doesn’t affect me at all for days, weeks, months on end. Although, when I am dealing with bouts of insomnia, I do usually end up crashing at some point or another. I just won’t sleep for long.

Sometimes, having insomnia means I will sleep every night, but perhaps for only 1 or 2 hours each night. Sometimes, I will sleep for a reasonable amount of time, but waking up every hour or so, maybe to pee, or for no reason at all. And sometimes, I won’t sleep. At all. For days…

 

2.) Insomniacs are used to not having sleep, so they can function on very little sleep.

Not true. Sometimes I do convince myself that I can deal with it, but it takes its toll. Often in the form of delirium, depression, and anxiety. Not to mention the physical exhaustion. Oh, and there’s the incessant inability to wake up on time for work (if and when I do actually fall asleep). Or the perpetual failure to wake up to an alarm clock in general (because once I do fall asleep my body tells any noise coming my way to f#$% off).

Oh, and there’s obviously the mental exhaustion. Even if, after very little sleep, I can move around and operate physically, I usually don’t know what the hell I’m saying or doing.

Basically, insomniacs are zombies. Maybe we should change the name to “inzombniac.” Heh…

 

3.) “Just close your eyes and think about something peaceful and you’ll fall asleep.”

Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. If I had a nickel for the amount of times people have told me this when I’m dealing with insomnia, I’d be rich and tired. If it were that easy, why would I be awake at (now) 3:01 am, ranting about how much I hate this god forsaken disorder!? I’m actually on the verge of tears right now because I’m so jealous of all you “normal” people who can just fall asleep at will. Sorry… but also, not sorry.

 

4.) “Can’t you try taking sleeping pills?”

Why yes. Yes I can try taking sleeping pills. I have tried taking sleeping pills, many many times… In fact, I took some earlier tonight. But here I am, awake and wiping away my tears.

This is not to discredit the potential effectiveness of sleeping pills or herbal remedies for insomnia. Maybe they do work for some people, but usually not for me. Some of the things I’ve tried are:

• Melatonin – sometimes works to make me fall asleep, but I just end up waking up 30 minutes later. Also, it aggravates my restless leg syndrome (which is WHOLEEEE other sleep disorder in itself that I may or may not decide to rant about later).
• Valerian Root – I’ve tried this almost every night for the last week. It’s about as effective as melatonin, but minus the restless leg nonsense. Still, falling asleep for 30 minutes and then waking up again? Nah.
• Hops – so far, no go.
• Sominex (and other non-herbal over the counter medicines) – to be fair, I try to avoid taking these, and haven’t taken them in years. The reason being is that they do make me fall asleep, and then I don’t wake up… ever. Like seriously, those things are basically anaesthetics that induce you into an unconscious, non-waking coma. No thanks.

Additionally, most sleeping pills end up giving me really weird and disturbing dreams. There are also some long-term side effects of sleeping pills (particularly the non-herbal remedies) which I would rather not deal with. Besides, why should I have to resort to pills anyway? It would be so much nicer to just fall asleep naturally… le sigh…

 

5.) Most people experience insomnia, so they can understand how it feels.

Not entirely true.

There are two types of insomnia: acute vs chronic. Most people do experience acute insomnia at some point in their lives. Acute insomnia is usually the result of some external factor. For example, someone might have a sleepless night before having to give a presentation, or before their wedding, or before going on an epic vacation. Acute insomnia may be the result of bad OR good anxiety. It happens, and I’m genuinely sorry for people who have to deal with it.

Chronic insomnia, on the other hand, is general inability to sleep, for no reason whatsoever. And it’s chronic; i.e. it’s an on-going thing. Chronic insomnia (which is what I have) is also exacerbated by external factors. It doesn’t help that right now I am dealing with a lot of external stressors that are driving my insomnia to absolute *peak* shittiness. And what sucks even more are that these stressors are completely out of my control; it’s not like I can even take accountability for the horrors that I’m experiencing. I just need to suck it up and deal with it.

But anyway, to come full circle on this point, if you’ve experience acute insomnia, I feel for you, but you don’t really understand how it feels for me.

 

6.) Avoiding caffeine, nicotine, and sugar late at night will help you sleep.

This may be true for non-insomniacs who suffer from late-night hyperactivity caused by stimulants. But for insomniacs, stimulants have little to no effect on our sleeplessness.

I am an ex-smoker. Granted, I only stopped smoking 6 weeks ago, and I’m still vaping with nicotine containing vape juice. But the level of nicotine in my vape juice, coupled with the fairly low frequency that I’ve been vaping, should not have a significant effect on my sleep. And actually, the fact that I’m taking in significantly less nicotine should generally be improving my ability to sleep. But I’ll chalk this up to the fact that I only recently gave up cigarettes. Perhaps any nicotine induced insomnia will go away over time…

Avoiding caffeine late at night? Fair enough. In the past, I’ve very often had several cups of coffee in the evening, and was still able to sleep normally. But I’ve stopped doing that for a while now, mainly in an effort to try to make this insomnia go away. So far, it hasn’t helped.

And avoiding sugar late at night? Also reasonable. But I’ve done this, and have actually significantly lowered my sugar intake altogether. Why am I still not sleeping!!!?!?!?!?

 

7.) Insomniacs can’t sleep because they are never tired.

Unbearably false (honestly, no pun intended).

Ok, pun maybe slightly intended…

 

8.) OK, Restless Legs Syndrome (or RLS)

Some people think RLS is a joke, that it’s as absurd as gluten sensitivity or anti-vacciners or other disorders supported by so-called “pseudo-science.” I’ve had people say to me “RLS isn’t real, it’s just caused by inactivity in the legs. You just need to go for a run every day or make sure you do enough walking to put your legs to rest.” Guess what? Not true.

First of all, I’m very active. I exercise (using my legs!) each and every single day! But RLS is very much a real thing for me and other people who experience it. Although it’s a relatively new disorder and is still poorly understood by the medical community, there has been enough research on it to verify that it’s real. It’s a type of nervous disorder characterized by an urge to move the legs. It can manifest itself in the form of burning, itching, or throbbing sensations throughout the legs, or painful cramping of the legs. For me, it’s indescribable. I just need to move them. I sometimes wave them around in the air (like I’m doing the pilates side-leg series in bed) or sometimes I need to kick them (I feel sorry for anyone who shares a bed with me). The actual sensation, however, isn’t burning or painful for me, and it doesn’t feel like throbbing. It’s like a nervous tick; basically Tourette’s syndrome of the legs. I don’t experience it every night, but I suppose it’s like my insomnia. Sometimes I feel it every night for days, weeks, months on end. And sometimes I go for a really long time without it. It’s completely unpredictable.

Oh, and it’s incurable and largely untreatable.

Just another sleep disorder that I need to suck up and deal with! YAY!

 

So anyway, there’s my rant. Aaaand now the sun is coming up… I don’t really expect anyone to read this. But if you do and you’ve made it this far, kudos to you! You must be really bored. Or perhaps you just can’t sleep either.

Bye!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

President Trump

Whelp, I’ve avoided posting anything regarding the recent US elections for fear of offending or spreading negativity or potentially sparking heated debate about Trump becoming America’s next president. But I can’t hold out any longer, so here goes…

 

Let me start by saying that I am a Democrat. I am a liberal. There are countless things that define why a person is a Republican or a Democrat, but in short, being a Democrat means I believe in government intervention and social equality. And I, like many Americans, am appalled at the outcome of the 2016 presidential election.

 

I’ve been living out of the country for over two years now, and I can tell you that when I heard Trump was nominated to be the Republican candidate for the 2016 election, I thought “Haha, this is a joke. There is absolutely no way a buffoon like Donald Trump will be elected as America’s next president.” I’ve had discussions with South Africans, Germans, French, British, Australians, and people of countless other nationalities about the upcoming election, and we all collectively mocked the idea of Trump becoming president. We all knew there was just “no way” it would happen.

 

But then I realized I’ve been living in an international “bubble” for the past 18 months. After visiting the US just last month, I noticed an alarming amount of “Trump/Pence” signs in peoples’ yards. I asked my friends and family “Do Trump supporters actually exist?” and even they informed me that “Well, most Republicans don’t actually ‘support’ Trump, they just really oppose Hillary and are, by default, supporting Trump to prevent her from becoming President. But most people know that he’s a tard and would be a terrible thing for this country, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”  The former part of this response is likely true, but the latter apparently was not.

 

Now yes, by popular vote, Hillary Clinton won. But due to our archaic and undemocratic Electoral College system, Trump took home the prize. This is unfair; we know.

 

I am also not happy. I am also concerned. And I am also fearful of what will happen to America over the course of the next four years (let’s hope it’s only four). But ultimately, we cannot change the outcome of the election. We can protest and complain and reiterate how shocked we are that such a “progressive” country just elected one of the most anti-progressive candidates in history, but it’s not going to help.
Look, I’m not an expert in politics. In fact, I know very little about politics. I’m an uninformed citizen who is simply using what little she knows to make a moderately educated statement here. In fact, I’m the exact opposite of a politician. I’m a scientist. I chose to pursue science so that I didn’t have to deal with politics or history or anything related to having opinions whatsoever. I chose to pursue facts. Seemingly indisputable facts which no one could ever really deny or debate unless there was an alternative scientific theory that may debunk whatever it was that I was considering fact.

 

But then I realized that even as a scientist, I’d have to deal with politics. If I had chosen to pursue space research, I’d have to rely primarily on government funding to fuel my research. Had I chosen to pursue a career in medicine, I’d have to deal with health insurance and government policies relating to such. Had I chosen to pursue pharmaceutical chemistry, I’d have to deal with what is and is not regulated by the Federal Drug Administration. Ultimately, I’ve realized politics are inescapable. In some ways, you might think I’d choose to be a Republican and would appreciate less governmental intervention. But you’re wrong.

 

I am a scientist, and I work for a company who deals with environmental issues, from educating clients on the potential environmental impacts of developing or expanding their businesses, to informing clients on the irrevocable outcomes of their operations and assisting with developing clean-up strategies to fix what cannot be undone. I cannot do my job without a governmental, regulatory framework urging, and in some cases mandating, my clients to clean-up the messes they make. Without the USEPA, or state-governed agencies like the PADEP, VADEQ, NJDEP, etc., my clients would have no drive or incentive to do anything about their environmental fuck-ups. So in one sense, I wouldn’t have a job. And in another sense, your Earth would be polluted beyond repair. Your drinking water would be contaminated, and you’d be inhaling toxic chemicals on a daily basis. Long story short, government intervention, ESPECIALLY with respect to the environment, is crucial.

 

Now, shall we talk about climate change? Let’s talk about climate change. As a scientist who believes that scientific facts supported by mounds of evidence gathered by experiments and studies conducted by experts ALL OVER THE FUCKING WORLD are indisputable, I find it hard to believe that one can actually “deny” climate change. But apparently I’m wrong. And most of the leaders of our country, including your soon-to-be president Mr. Trump, believe that climate change is a hoax and actually seek to disengage from the Paris Agreement (which, for those who don’t know, is an agreement amongst 200 or so nations to implement strategies to reverse the effects of global warming).

 

To his credit, Trump has admitted to making clean water and the use of alternative energy sources a priority in his administration. I don’t buy this for a second, but who knows what of what he says is true and untrue… We’ll have to wait and see. But anyway, he’s appointed a climate change denier to lead the “EPA Transition”. He’s made it clear that he has no love for the EPA, and on top of wanting to quit the Paris Agreement, he’s apparently stated his intention of repealing the Clean Power Plan set forth by Obama, as well as other rules and regulations set upon the oil, gas, and coal sectors. Prioritizing alternative energy sources? Unlikely…

 

And clean water? Where the fuck is clean water going to come from if we keep spewing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, causing global warming and heat waves which by default evaporate our clean freshwater sources? And with the erratic weather conditions caused by climate change, we can’t expect to see consistent or healthy rain patterns, which in turn would cause our groundwater table to drop lower and lower and minimize the amount of groundwater available for use, whether it be used for drinking water, production, irrigation, etc. And, well, this would in turn obviously affect our ability to irrigate crops and would reduce our food supply. And with continual drop in groundwater levels our trees and other plants, which so gracefully do us the favor of sucking CO2 out of our already devastated atmosphere, would starve and die and the problem would just become exacerbated. We’re in a downward spiral, people. And it’s about to get worse.

 

Additionally, by endorsing oil, gas, and coal (because these are profitable businesses and clearly money is more important than the future of the human race and our planet, right?) you are essentially contributing further to the demise of clean water. Natural gas extraction wells will continue to pollute groundwater with methane and other chemicals used in the fracking process. Oil extraction, along with conveyance pipelines and storage tanks, will continue to leak and spill hydrocarbons into our precious water resources. And coal mining will continue to blow off the tops of mountains and contribute to acid mine drainage. And ALL THREE of these will continue to deforest the world so that new plants and refineries and pipelines can be built. And this is all aside from what the use of these fossil fuels will do our atmosphere…

 

So yeah, I’m also scared. I’m personally offended by what we chose to prioritize (namely capitalism, guns, and tax breaks) over what are, to me, indisputably the most important issues we should be facing. I haven’t even touched on social issues, but I’ll stop my rant here…

 

Look people, this sucks. This really really really fucking sucks. Not just for you, not just for your family or your friends, but for the world as a whole and our future as a species. But we can’t change what’s happened. So let’s just accept, adapt, and keep fighting for what we believe in. I know it seems hopeless, but we have to stay positive and do whatever we can to instil change in the world. Let’s not become divided as a nation, but rather unite on what little common ground we may find. Unity is the most important virtue of our livelihood, within our nation and across our planet. Please, stop fighting, start uniting.

Another decade

Good Day!

Apparently it’s been a year since my last post. [sorry!]

On top of generally being busy and thoroughly making the most of my time in South Africa, I just haven’t been inspired to write in a very long time. But I’m feeling an itch now to share some thoughts here on my “public diary.”

First of all, where the hell did 2016 go? It seems like the years keeping going by faster and faster as I get older and older, and 2016 most definitely takes the cake so far. It feels like just yesterday that I was turning in the new year with a climbing trip to Waterval Boven with some of my besties.

Second of all, where the hell did my life go? I’m turning 30 this year. This means I’ll have walked this earth for three whole decades (ok so maybe I crawled for the first year or so of my life, but you get my point…) Thirty years is a long ass-time! You know they say people generally have anxiety about reaching 30. It’s like that age where society dictates you should be settled, with a family, a steady job, a house, a few kids, maybe a dog or two, a boatload of money in your savings account, some stock investments, etc… and those who haven’t established that by 30 perhaps feel like they’ve failed at something? I don’t know. I have none of that, and I don’t care.

I’m stoked about turning 30. The first few decades of my life were filled with fun and joy, and half of that time was spent being a kid with no responsibilities. But the first thirty years of life are the most dynamic, and by default, the most stressful. As I transitioned from a child to a pre-teen, from a pre-teen to a teen, from a teen to an adult, shit got hectic. Shit got real. I remember having severe anxiety about graduating from college. You know, you’re whole life is planned out for you up to a point: be a baby, go to pre-school, to go elementary school, go to middle school, go to high school, go to college. Then what? It was like entering a new stage in life where I had absolutely no idea of what was next, who I was about to become, or where I was going. The twenties were hands down the hardest years of my life, and even at age 29, I’m still going through some shit. But I’ve come to learn so much about myself and I’m so much more confident in who I am today than I was 10 or even 20 years ago.

Turning 30 is like entering a new chapter in my life where I’m finally comfortable, and I understand that my life is 100% in MY hands – no one else’s. I make all decisions with confidence because I know that these are choices I make and only have myself to blame if something goes awry.  And if shit does go awry, I don’t mope, I don’t stress, and I don’t regret; I reflect, and I learn. I have no anxiety, no stress (well, minus the general day-to-day stressors we deal with in life), and no uncertainty about who I am. I value the life I’ve made for myself.

I remember once during my early twenties, I was chatting with my sister (who is 8 years older than me) about the fear of truly becoming an adult. She told me that I would feel that way for a while, as I grow into adulthood, take on more responsibilities, work a corporate job, live by myself, and become more independent… shit was going to be hard. But she assured me that as time goes on, these just become things we do to survive, to earn a living, to get by. External variables that inevitably influence who we become, but external nonetheless. The real challenge, she said, was acknowledging the internal variables that essentially define who we are. Observing them, studying them, understanding them, and changing them when we feel the need. That was the truly hard part. And she was right. She said she went through the same challenges during her twenties, but as she transitioned into her thirties, suddenly everything became clear, and she was finally comfortable in her own skin. These words she spoke to me have resonated with me ever since, and have actually made me look forward to turning 30. Thank you Kelly, I love you ❤

I’ve changed a lot over the last 10 years, and even more in the last 2 years since I moved to South Africa. And there are even more impending changes on the horizon. But I look forward to entering my 30’s as a truly free spirit. Cheers to another decade of self-reflection, positivity, confidence, and growth. Namaste, people. Namaste.

It is the prayer of my innermost being to realize my supreme identity in the liberated play of consciousness, the Vast Expanse. Now is the moment, Here is the place of Liberation.

Diminishing Backlog

Good day, friends!

I desperately need to minimize my backlog of adventure sharing, so here’s another post filled with 2,193,492,845,908,240 things I’ve done over the past few months. OK, maybe that number is more like 4 or 5, but experiences multiply when you’re having fun, right?

Ok, clearly I’m making no sense. I’m not going to lie, I’m not in much of a mood to write right now, so just enjoy the visual stimulation 🙂

Brewing Beer (with a dash of yoga)

In packing for my move to South Africa back in August 2014, I heavily debated whether or not to bring my beer brewing equipment. I mean, it’s bulky, it’s heavy, and it’s sure as hell not cheap to ship bulky and heavy items overseas. So, I opted for “no.” But after being here for a couple of months, I really started to miss my favorite hobby. I did some research and concluded that I could re-buy most of the equipment I need for a reasonable price (give or take a few non-essential items, such as my amazing homemade wort chiller that cannot be reproduced in South Africa because there is not a hardware store in existence with coiled copper pipe or nylon tubing…) So I did some shopping and, initially, attempted to make my first “all-grain” batch (which omits the commonly used malt extracts). All-grain brewing is a very calculated process, and somewhere along the lines, I f@#$ed up. It could have been improper grain steeping temperature, miscalculated wort dilution, etc… Either way, the batch didn’t ferment and I had to chuck it.

So after this failed attempt at all-grain brewing, I figured I’d revert back to extract brewing for a few more batches before reattempting the pro method. I bought myself some ingredients to make a weissbier/hefeweizen, and embarked on a brewing journey one fine Saturday afternoon. I set my urn at the appropriate temperature, and let the grains steep for about an hour.

While the grains were steeping, I decided to drink a beer and do some yoga (as the two often go hand-in-hand).

…and take some pictures of my fine ingredients (yeast n’ hops!)

After the grains were finished steeping, I added the malt extract, brought my wort to a boil, and then added my hops. Boil time was 60 minutes.

Once the boil was complete, I let the wort cool and took a hydrometer (measures specific gravity of a liquid) reading. In brewing, you collect an initial reading prior to fermentation, then a final reading once fermentation is complete. Then you use the delta of these two numbers to calculate your ABV %. Starting gravity on this batch was roughly 1.046.

And then  I added my yeast and sealed my fermenter…

… and attached a blow-off tube (useful for very active fermentations, otherwise your beer may essentially “blow up”).

After the initial few days of fermentation, the yeast activity dies down and bit and you can replace the blow-off tube with an airlock. The bubbling out the top of the airlock signifies that the yeast was still pretty active!

And after about 2 weeks, I checked the specific gravity (final gravity = 1.0085) and concluded that it was ready for bottling (sorry, no pictures of bottling). The ABV is calculated by multiplying the difference of your original and final gravities by 131.25.

OG = 1.046, FG = 1.0085

OG-FG*131.25 = 4.9%.

Not bad for a Weissbier!

I suppose I’ve just given you a very high-level tutorial in brewing beer. You’re welcome.

PS – the beer turned out pretty good. Definitely not my best batch (nothing beats my Heady Topper clone!), but very enjoyable none the less. I named it “Chewie the Hefferweizen” after my recently deceased and obese feline daughter, Chewie (R.I.P. my sweet lil’ fatso <3)

Hartbeespoort Dam

My friend Liaan and I had been toying with the idea of taking a day trip up to the Hartbeespoort Dam just northwest of Johannesburg. Well, when my Uncle Chris and his wife Lindi invited me to join them on a trip up there, I invited Liaan to join, and off we went. The area is gorgeous — tons of iron rich pseudo-mountains and “koppies” (little peaks in Afrikaans) everywhere, and the dam itself is a beautiful crystal blue color. We first stopped at the Old Windmill Restaurant for lunch, then strolled around a “farmer’s market” type of place, where I stocked up on nuts and dried fruits (which are CRAZY expensive in the grocery stores here.) Then we made our way over to the dam and just explored for a while. We topped the day off with a visit to a craft market. Didn’t buy anything except a whopping serving of lemon sorbet to cool off. Overall, a super fun and relaxing afternoon!

The Old Windmill Restaurant

I don’t know. I thought it looked cool….

A creative way of utilizing old tires… Sustainably beautiful!

Overlooking the Hartbeespoort Dam.

Uncle Chris and Aunt Lindi 🙂

Liaan and me.

Ezemvelo Camping

Ah yes, my very first South Africa camping trip. We went to a beautiful nature reserve just NE of Johannesburg called Ezemvelo. Lovely campsites, superb hiking, and allegedly some good bouldering spots (had I known I would have brought my climby climb shoes…) It was a wonderful weekend full of Brits, Brazilians, Americans, Belgians, French, and of course, our one token South African dude 🙂 The camp itself was super cushy — drive-in campsites, “ablution” facilities (aka bathrooms and showers), electrical hookups, braai facilities, etc… Not exactly true camping if you ask me, but we had a fabulous time none the less…

We went on a nice 6-7k hike throughout the reserve as well. Quite a hot day and very little shade, but it was amazing. We topped off the hike with a swim in a crocodile and hippo infested river. Luckily, we only managed to piss off 4 bathing hippos, and were also later required to outrun a large 10 foot crocodile, but the adrenaline rush was totally worth it! Despite this, as well as getting slightly lost on the hike back, we each managed to arrive back at our campsite in 1 piece.

…Oh and just kidding about the crocs & hippos.

First night of camping shenanigans.

Apparently several of us have good taste in hiking shoes…

One of several warthog burrows we saw along the hike.

Trail markers.

The “Abbey Road” photo of Ezemvelo.

La vista from Mushroom Rock.

The croc and hippo infested river. Oh wait….

Very unique rock structures and bright color lichens.

Those of you who know me know that I have quite a knack for spotting mating insects… These appear to be “Lycidae” or “net winged beetles.”

The worlds tiniest bonfire!

…Shenanigans #2.

“Would you like to try some of my smoked meat log?”

Victoria Falls (Zimbabwe and Zambia)

Now this was another truly remarkable experience. Growing up in the NE United States, I had always heard about Niagara Falls being the most spectacular waterfalls in the world (albeit not necessarily the highest). Well… Niagara ain’t got NOTHIN’ on Vic Falls. Holy shit!

I went there with a group of friends/colleagues (I think there were about 12 of us) back in February. We stayed at a lovely little hostel called Victoria Falls Backpackers. See pictures below:

Inside my cozy little chalet.

And outside my cozy little chalet 🙂

The backpackers’ “Bush Cafe.” A lovely little spot for braai and booze.

Not the finest brew in all the land, but hey, “When in Rome,” right?

As soon as we arrived, we dropped our luggage off at the backpackers, downed a Zambezi lager, and headed straight over to the park to soak in the beauty of the Falls (literally).

Majestic!

So powerful! Definitely wouldn’t want to get caught in the current on that side…

“The hills are aliveeeeeee with the soundddd of…… waterfalls?”

Dude. It just kept getting more and more amazing as we traversed the length of the falls.

At the last lookout point… which I have appropriately dubbed “The Saturation Station.”

The bridge crossing between Zimbabwe and Zambia. And while I’m giving things nicknames, let’s call this “The ZimZam.” Lots of people bungee jump off of this bad boy every day. Not me, no sir.

Slightly outdated yet visually appealing billboard.

Baboons everywhere!

After moseying around the falls for some time, we headed straight to cross the border into Zambia for a sundowner at the Royal Livingston Hotel.

Welcome to Zambia, where you are very likely to contract malaria! Enjoy your stay 🙂

The Royal Livingston was breathtaking. It literally had zebras just walking around hotel grounds near the deck and the swimming pool. It’s an obscenely fancy and luxurious hotel, and having just come from hiking around Vic Falls National Park in sopping wet clothing, we were slightly under-dressed for the occasion. Regardless, the staff were happy to over-look our sodden appearances for the fact that we were about to contribute immensely to their net revenue for the day (at roughly $12 per drink, I imagine they made bank from our group of alcoholics!)

Oh you know, just hangin’ out with some zebras… NBD.

Can you say “African Sunset?”

The next day was, hands down, one of the most exhilarating days of my life. Several of us woke up early and made our way down to the banks of the Zambezi river for a whitewater rafting experience. I had never gone whitewater rafting, and I have to admit, I was terrified. Water is a powerful thing, and god forbid I fall out of the raft and hit my head on a rock or get sucked into whirlpool or stranded far behind the raft with no rescue… Who knows, anything could have happened!

We went during the high season, which means the water is higher than usual and the rapids aren’t as insane as they are during the low season. So this alleviated my fears a bit, but I was still apprehensive until we conquered our first rapid. After that, I realized I had nothing to worry about, and the trip was all fun and games from that point on. No one fell out of the raft at all except on one rapid. And on this particular rapid, I was the only person who managed to stay in (probably because I was holding on for dear life the entire time.)

I wish I had some pictures of the rafting to share, but it’s not recommended that you bring anything valuable with you on the raft for fear of it falling out along the way. That being said, however, I did have my GoPro strapped to my chest the whole time 🙂 Unfortunately, I’m too incompetent to edit videos (I’ve tried now like 8,454 times and I suck) but I did manage to export a slow-mo clip of the group during the wipeout. Find it on YouTube here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u4J_MsOI7k&feature=youtu.be

Warthogs moseying about in a residential neighborhood of Zimbabwe.

Vultures waiting to scavenge their next meal.

View of a beautiful watering hole from a random hotel we stopped at for a sundowner drink. And by random, I really mean not strategically located — at all. We had to hike through the bush and make our way down a very inconspicuous “road” to find this place. Totes worth it though!

Evening entertainment at Vic Falls Backpackers.

So long, VF Backpackers! Until next time 🙂

And so long, Vic Falls. You were amazing ❤

OK so the rest of this post is just randomness. Some pictures below for your viewing entertainment.

Me handling what I have NOW identified to be a CMR Beetle, or “Blister Beetle,” named for their defensive secretion of a blistering agent called cantharidin. My fingers survived.

The crag at Bronkhorstspruit. Some good climbing (note: that is not me)

More of the Bronkies crag.

Some Joburg sightseeing — Arts on Main marketplace in Maboneng Precinct.

The world’s largest serving of the world’s most delicious gelato. Good thing my friend Elke had me to help finish that beast! 🙂

One of my favorite Joburg breweries!

Red bus tour on a beautiful sunny Johannesburg afternoon.

Braamfontein — the hipster locale of Johannesburg.

More of Hipsterfontein — near Neighbourgoods Market.

Johannesburg Municipal Building. Somewhat ordinary, somewhat unique. I liked it.

I came home one day to find this ENORMOUS rain spider chillin’ on my counter. I contemplated peacefully removing this monster from my home by non-harmful means… but then I imagined it coming back into my home and crawling into my mouth while I was sleeping… so I killed it 😦

Another MASSIVE creature invading my home. This cockroach was probably the size of Shaquille O’Neal’s big toe. I happily Doomed the shit out of this one, too.

And some welcomed creatures! An adorable little gecko on my front door ❤

And last but not least — Me on a three-way Skype call with Mum/Dad and sister Kelly, and then brother Kurt Skyped in through Kelly’s phone. Only missing Kyle in this little gem. I ❤ my family!

Captonian Bliss

Well well well… Again I find myself at a loss of where to begin. I really need to keep up with these blog posts, otherwise I end up where I am now — overwhelmed with stories to tell and photos to share. Despite the wealth of amazing experiences I’ve had over the past few months, I’ll dedicate this post solely to what I have decided is in my top three holidays of all time — my Christmas in Cape Town.

It all started with rising at the butt-crack o’ dawn on Christmas Day, quickly Skyping with the family to say hello, Merry Christmas, etc., before departing for the airport. I had ample time to make it to the airport, but decided to order an Uber cab slightly early just in case. However, the app on my Crapberry wasn’t working, and well, neither was the Vodacom network altogether, so I couldn’t even call a cab. Maybe I could order something on the interwebs… But nope, the internet wasn’t working either (‘Welcome to Africa’ as they say…). So I scrambled around for about 45 minutes trying to figure out what to do. I decided to go knock on my neighbors door to see if maybe I could use his phone to call a cab. He did me one better, and offered to drive me to the Gautrain station so I could catch the train to the airport. At this point, I had about 1.5 hours until my flight departed. I made it to the Gautrain station and bought my tickets, only to realize that the train had just left. I’d have to wait about 20 minutes for the next one. I got on the train and made it to the next station 5 minutes later, where I had to get off and board another train that goes directly to the airport. Well, I made it onto that train in what I thought was the nick of time… But in fact, the train just sat there, waiting, for another 20 minutes or so. Now I’m about 45 minutes away from my plane departure. Finally the train leaves and I make it to the airport 15 minutes later. 30 minutes to go… I find my check in counter, check my bag, sprint to airport security, make it through in about 15 minutes, and race to the terminal. I made it onto my plane with 5 minutes before departure. Phew! Off to Cape Town.

I arrive late afternoon on a foggy and rainy Christmas day. I pick up my rental car and make my way to Riverlodge Backpacker’s. I had heard stories of being able to see Table Mountain and Lion’s Head peak and all kinds of cool things when driving around Cape Town. But because of the fog, I couldn’t see a damn thing. Oh well.

I check into the remarkably quiet and deserted hostel (it is Christmas day, after all). The few people I do encounter seem nice. The hostel looks OK. The bathrooms could have been a little bit cleaner and they could have supplied some TP, but all in all, I was happy. I have a glass of wine and a bite to eat with some of the folks I met and just chill out for a while.

I get a call later from my friend Stefano, who is also in town visiting for the holiday, with an invitation to go out for a Christmas meal. I shower and get ready, and off I go. As I’m driving into town, the fog clears up, and BAM — there it is. The famous Table Mountain of Cape Town. It’s HUGE. I am in complete and utter awe of the size of this thing. It really makes Cape Town one of the most unique and beautiful cities I have ever visited in my life. I mean, come on, when you go to a major city, the last thing you expect is a giant mountain sitting right in the center of it. Amazing.

I woke up the next day with plans to visit Boulder’s Beach and Cape Point. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and although the Boxing Day traffic was nearly unbearable, I made it with minimal frustration. After all, I’m on holiday. I’m not in a hurry to get anywhere 🙂

Boulder’s Beach is the famous beach where all of the African penguins live. It’s actually more of a coastal nature reserve than a public beach. I paid the 60 rand (roughly $6) to go in, and I see a few penguins lurking about in the coastal flora. Awesome! But as I walk deeper into the reserve, the more and more abundant the penguins get. There are hundreds of them just happily waddling along and enjoying the attention. Definitely a worthwhile visit!

After my visit to Boulder’s, I make my way further down the Cape Peninsula until reaching Cape Point National Park. The park is home to all kinds of wildlife, but most notably, the baboons!

I spend about 2 hours just hiking around Cape Point. Despite the crowds, it’s such a serene and breathtaking area. However, the wind down there was ruthless. I had to hold on for dear life when hiking along the trail shown in the picture below, otherwise I probably would have been knocked right into the cape.

The next day, some friends and I decided to visit the Old Biscuit Mill, which is, quite literally, an old biscuit mill which has been converted into a weekend marketplace with all kinds of food and craft vendors.

The degree of sensory stimulation I felt from this place cannot be put into words. The smells of the food… the colors of the crafts… the sounds of people chatting, coffee brewing, food sizzling… And the views of the mountains! I should have taken more photos…

We followed up our visit to the Old Biscuit Mill with an impromptu drive out to Paarl, one of the famous ‘wine countries’ of the Western Cape, where we visited a popular tourist stop called The Spice Route. The Spice Route itself wasn’t really anything worth writing about, but the beautiful landscape of Paarl is definitely worth sharing.

The next day involved a trip out to Stellenbosch, which is perhaps the most famous wine spot near Cape Town. Stefano and I embarked on a “Bikes N’ Wines” tour through the lush vineyards and hilly terrain of Stellenbosch.

We visited 3 of the local wineries for tastings, and topped the day off with a stop at Van Ryn’s Brandy Distillery, where we were delighted with a brandy, coffee, and chocolate pairing. Quite honestly, I think brandy is disgusting, but was happy to enjoy the coffee and chocolate! Needless to say, after a long day of biking in the hot sun and sampling nearly 15 different kinds of wine and 3 kinds of brandy, my motor skills had severely deteriorated, and the ride back to our starting point was far from easy 🙂 Overall, it was an amazing day! I highly recommend doing this if you ever take a trip to Cape Town.

The next day was a freebie. I decided to go dote around Kalk Bay in the morning, which is a hip little beach town along the eastern side of the peninsula. I then trekked back up to the northern coast to check out the V&A Waterfront. It’s a cool place, and definitely worth the visit, but it’s really nothing more than a big shopping mall with a bunch of restaurants. The most notable part is the big ferris wheel that people ride to get stunning views of Table Mountain. But to be honest, you can see stunning view of Table Mountain just about anywhere in Cape Town, so I decided to give the ferris wheel a skip.

The next day might be one of the top highlights of my trip — the hike up Table Mountain. I had originally planned to do some hiking in Jonkershhoek, but was instead invited to join my friend Liaan’s friend Johnny on a Table Mountain hike with him and two couch surfers he was hosting (Mary and Jonathan).

I’m so grateful I decided to forego Jonkershhoek and join them on this hike, because I otherwise would have NEVER been able to scramble up the Kloof Corner trail without the aid of a knowledgeable and experienced hiker. This hike wasn’t even really a hike. It was more of a climb, without the comforting aid of ropes or harnesses.

We then made our way down the mountain via the India Venster route. Another seemingly challenging hike with all kinds of scrambling/pseudo-climbing along the way. All in all, the grade of climbing was very easy, and there were some chains available to assist in wiggling your way up to the top, but it was still terrifying without having a life line to rely on. Needless to say, I made it up (and down!) without falling to my death, and we celebrated with ice cream, beer, and a braai.

Now, I couldn’t visit Cape Town without stopping at the famous Charly’s Bakery!

This place was not only decorated like Candy Land, the sweets and treats were just as nostalgic. Of course I had to get the Cookie Monster cupcake… and I couldn’t very well leave without also trying this delicious looking brownie! The treats of Charly’s Bakery are ubiquitously described as “Mucking Afazing.”

I followed up my sugar rush with a trip to Franschhoek, “Le Quartier Francais” of South Africa, where I delighted in more sugary deliciousness. Who can say no to Belgian chocolate?

Due to my already dangerously high blood sugar, I limited myself to two chocolates for fear of hyperglycemic shock — a champagne truffle and a brandy truffle. SO worth the subsequent belly ache.

So I’m in the Western Cape’s most romantic wine country. It wouldn’t be right if I left without enjoying a romantic (solo) wine tasting. And what better way to top up my sugar-filled day with more sugar [alcohol]. I treated myself to a relaxing tasting at Mont Rochelle Vineyards. The perfect combination — sunshine, mountains, vineyards, my book, and alcohol 🙂

The next day (or several days later, I can’t keep track) was another highlight of my trip — the paragliding. It took several attempts to get this scheduled, as the ability to safely paraglide is largely dependent on the wind conditions. But Stefano and I finally got the chance to experience Cape Town from a bird’s eye view.

These pictures are of Stefano launching, but I did take GoPro footage of my flight. Some of you have already seen it on my Facebook page, but if you haven’t and want to vicariously experience paragliding over Cape Town, just let me know and I’ll send it 🙂

Although it was only 7 minutes long, the experience was well worth it. Soaring over the beautiful city, the feeling of air on my skin, the infinite expanse of ocean beneath me…. Simply amazing!

Now, South Africa is one of the few places in the world where you can go cage diving with Great Whites. So, needless to say, I had to do it! Some of you thought I was crazy to do this, but it was actually quite calming and humbling in a sense to get up close and personal with something that could very well devour you in seconds. OK, maybe that’s a stretch, but I actually used to be terrified of sharks. For some reason, I was inexplicably calm during this particular close encounter. In fact, I don’t think I’m afraid of sharks anymore. Although it may be a different story if I wasn’t encapsulated by a large steel cage…

I felt quite lucky, because I had spoken with someone who went shark cage diving several days prior and didn’t see a single shark. On this trip, we saw 7 different Great Whites — the largest was about 4 meters long. Unfortunately, the clarity of the water was such that you could only see about 2 feet in front of you when submerged. That being said, I didn’t get any footage of the sharks UNDER water, but here’s a picture of one surfacing while I was out of the cage.

I was also invited to go to a township braai. For those of you who don’t know, the “townships” are the informal settlements of South Africa where non-whites were segregated to during the Apartheid Era. Since the abolishment of apartheid, no one is forced to live in these townships, but some either choose to stay because of their cultural upbringing, or they simply cannot afford to leave. The Guguletu township outside of Cape Town hosts a braai every Sunday for anyone to join. It’s actually quite a smart thing to do, as these braais likely bring in a boatload of money for the locals. There is live music, dancing, drumming, tons of meat, beer, and overall good vibes.

In total, I reserved 17 days for my Cape Town trip, but I couldn’t afford to use leave time for the entire duration. So I decided I would work out of my company’s Cape Town office during my 2nd week there. Despite this, I still managed to make the most of my evenings, including several hikes up Lion’s Head — one of the “must do’s” of Cape Town.

Lion’s Head is the little pointed peak that sits between Table Mountain and Signal Hill in CT.

Despite it’s small size and the temporally short trail, the hike up Lion’s Head was somewhat challenging and steep in areas. Someone actually fell off the top of the mountain and died several days prior to my ascent. But hundreds, if not thousands, of people hike this thing every day. You just need to be alert and careful while ascending and moseying around the top of the peak.

But the views from the top are absolutely stunning!

I left work early one day to go visit Kirstenbosch National Botanical Gardens. As is the case with most sights of Cape Town, the gardens were absolutely gorgeous! They recently built this “Boomslang” (which means “Tree Snake” in Afrikaans) aerial walkway throughout the gardens, where you can meander through the canopy of the forest and look down on the beautiful trees and gardens.

So Kirstenbosch is home to all kinds of plants categorized as the “Cape Floral Kingdom,” otherwise known as “fynbos.” There are apparently 6 different types of floral kingdoms around the world, and the fynbos are completely indigenous to a small stretch of the Western Cape. One of the most notable flowers of the Cape Flora is the Protea. Although not one of the endemic species, the Protea flower is found in other parts of South Africa and in parts of Zimbabwe. The photo below is a “Pincushion Protea.”

The various mountains viewed from Kirstenbosch. From left to right: Castle Rock, Window Buttress, Fernwood Peak, and Devil’s Peak.

After exploring the gardens for a little while, I embarked on an 8k hike along the Silvertree Trail, which runs between the western edge of the gardens and the feet of the mountains in the picture above.

While hiking along the Silvertree Trail, I spotted an adorable little tortoise chillin’ on the side of the trail. I stopped to get my camera out to take photos, and the tortoise started running towards me (and when I say running, I mean this notoriously slow creature was bookin’ it). It seemed to be infatuated with my shoe, as it repeatedly kept on trying to mount my foot (I have heard that tortoises have a “thing” for shoes… and there are several YouTube videos to back up this claim). Anyway, I’m not sure exactly what kind of interest this creature had in my shoe, but it was relentless in its efforts. I took several photos, and proceeded to walk away, but the tortoise kept chasing me (literally!). I actually have video footage of this strange encounter, as well. Hit me up if you want to see a small tortoise chasing a large human.

Although my final week in Cape Town was filled with work, I did make time to hit up some of the well known food and beverage spots of the city. Below is a picture of two new friends (Clarisse from France, and Charles from Belgium) at Truth Coffee Company, a trendy little coffee shop with a steampunk kinda vibe.

And those of you who know me know that I can’t travel anywhere without finding the good beer spots. Below is a picture of a food and beer pairing at Devil’s Peak Brewery. Probably the finest brewery in Cape Town.

I could probably share a million and one more exciting stories about Cape Town, including sundowners on top of Table Mountain, braais with coworkers, seeing the Wizard of Oz (for the first time ever) at an outdoor drive-in style movie theatre, tons of gourmet meals, endless beach bum days, and evenings of dancing until the break of dawn. However, I’m afraid I have to restrain myself for fear of making this post obnoxiously long and drawn out (as if it isn’t already…). But this generally sums up the highlights of my Cape Town adventures. As I mentioned, this trip was one of the most exciting and relaxing holidays I’ve had to date. For those of you thinking about visiting South Africa, go to Cape Town. Johannesburg is the place to live, thrive, and prosper… but Cape Town is the place to have fun.

So long, folks!

“Life is either a great adventure, or it is nothing.”   -Helen Keller

Short Stories, by Joe Burger

…Joe burger, heh… get it? Joburg…. Joburger… Joe Burger?

Oh dear… I crack myself up. My dearest sister, Kelly, and I often discuss how we are the funniest people we know. Sometimes I can make other people laugh, but most of my laughter is triggered by my own idiocy and immaturity. I love it. I can only hope that you do too 🙂

Anyway, this post is dedicated those people in my life who have expressed interest in reading my blog. I’ve previously discussed how this blog is primarily something I can use as an outlet to express my own thoughts, emotions, experiences, etc… a public diary of sorts. But I’ve come to learn that there are quite a few individuals who actually enjoy keeping up with my life, so here’s to you!

It’s an amazing feeling to know that others are interested in what you have to share… It’s an inherent reminder that I really do lead an interesting life. One such that others want to read about.

Now hey, I’m no Ben Franklin, Anne Frank, Hitler, Tina Fey, Russell Brand, or any other famous (or infamous) celebrity whose autobiography will bring in the big buck$… but I do hope you can find pleasure in my babbling and rambling about nonsense and, well, non-nonsense stuff…

So last time I blogged, I just shared a few random thoughts. But this one is just going to be a narrative of some pictures I feel are worth sharing, as well as a few very short stories about my experiences in Johannesburg over the past month or so. Enjoy!

A Strange Love Affair

The infamous “Parktown Prawn”

This, my friends, is a picture of a fascinating yet horrid creature which decided to make love to my foot one evening outside of my cottage. I felt something pinch my foot, and when I looked down, this huge mother f***er was making out with my toe. I, of course, reacted by kicking my foot, trying to shake the thing off of me. Little did I know that this “Parktown Prawn”, as they are infamously labeled, secretes a dark blackish fluid when startled, which it delightfully sprayed all over my foot and pant leg. Lovely.

It’s generally a harmless creature. Just a giant cricket with pincers, long legs, and an ugly ass face.

FACT: For those of you who have seen the movie “District 9”, the alien “prawns” in the movie were inspired by the Parktown Prawn.

The Lory Park Zoo

The next bunch of photos were taken at the Lory Park Zoo in Midrand (a northern suburb of Johannesburg). This zoo, like several of the other parks/zoos here, had “animal encounters” available for the zoo-goers. And best of all, the Lory Park Zoo had jaguar cubs available to play with. Needless to say, a visit here was a MUST.

I went there one afternoon with Uncle Chris and Aunt Lindi. It’s a relatively small zoo, but there was still a lot to see 🙂 Apologies, but I don’t remember the names of most of these animals, but if I do, I’ll add a caption.

Don’t remember the species, but look how happy it is!

Winking… I think he liked me.

Jaguar cubs — the black one is a jaguar as well. If you look closely, you can see it actually has spots too!

Sweet precious jaguar cub… attacking my crotch.

Hyena cubs… for such a small creature, the male sure does have quite an impressive reproductive organ… Sorry, it had to be said.

Lemurs! My favs…

A wild an exotic creature roaming around the zoo.

Kimberley’s Big Wet Hole

One of the sites I’m managing for work is in the town of Kimberley, which is an old diamond mining town famous for it’s “Big Hole”. The Big Hole is [arguably] the largest man-dug pit mine in the world. Kimberley was once a thriving metropolis full of rich settlers (mostly geologists!) looking to tap into the diamond market. Various diamond mining operations eventually merged and became known as the De Beers diamond company you are all likely familiar with.

Despite my assumption that the town was named after “kimberlite pipes”, which are intrusive volcanic geological features known for containing diamonds, I was befuddled to learn that the town’s name came from a British dude known as Lord Kimberley. And contrarily, the term “kimberlite pipe” was named after this diamond rich town of Kimberley.

Anyway, I had been wanting to see the Big Hole since before I even considered moving to South Africa. When I eventually landed the opportunity to move here, I made sure I’d find some time to see this bad boy. And lucky for me, I took over management of a site less than 1 km away from it!

So, needless to say, I scheduled a site visit and made some time to go check it out. The town, having been mostly dried up of it’s allure (namely, diamonds) is actually kind of a ghost town now. I’m quite sure I was the only person at the Big Hole visitor’s center on the day I went. I guess no one else appreciates big holes as much as I do!

And here you have it:

Kimberley’s Big Wet Hole.

Brew Day

In other news, I finally bought supplies to start brewing beer again! I had my coworker Hennie and some of his buddies over on the day I brewed my first all grain batch. We also took this opportunity to crack open some of the beer I brewed with Hennie several weeks prior. It was a Peach IPA which we dubbed “Judas Peach” (as all of Hennie’s beers have metal-themed names) 🙂 Quite delish!

Here are some pics of brew day at my place.

Sad to say, however, that this was a failed batch. Either I let my ingredients sit for too long, causing my yeast to “inactivate”, or I added too much water to the fermentor after transferring the wort, as the batch was not fermenting at all. Either way, lessons learned! Hope to try again after the holidays 🙂

Flowers from a Secret Admirer

I was delightfully greeted with a bouquet of flowers for my birthday this year. They came with a card that just said “Please write perijove symbol”. I can only guess that my secret admirer is, in fact, my amazing husband Steven 🙂 PERIJOVE SIR STV! Thank you. Love you oodles.

Johnny Clegg

I went to see the South African musical legend, Johnny Clegg, with some friends one afternoon at the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Gardens in Roodepoort (another suburb of Johannesburg). The venue was gorgeous (despite it being a rainy day) and the music was great! We danced and danced and danced until the sun went down 🙂

From Hell to Heaven in Less than 24 hours

We had a public holiday here on Tuesday 16 December. I figured I’d take the Monday off and use the long weekend as an excuse to go somewhere. I chose Durban, as I figured I’d want to check it out at some point, and I could work out of my company’s Durban office on the Monday before the holiday, thus preventing me from having to use leave time.

So I packed my things and embarked on the 6 hour drive on that Saturday afternoon. The drive was relatively enjoyable. But I must admit that after being in a car for 6 hours, I became slightly irate and just wanted to curl up in a cozy bed somewhere.

After finally arriving in Durban, I drove around for about 45 minutes looking for the backpacker’s hostel I had booked for the weekend. It didn’t have the best reviews, but I figured ‘meh, these people giving it bad reviews are probably just rich prissy high-maintenance folk who can’t handle the grunge of a hostel’, so I booked and pre-paid for 3 nights there. I’ve stayed in quite a few backpackers’ before, and some other somewhat grimy and uncomfortable accommodations, so this one can’t be too bad, right?

WRONG! SO SO SO incredibly wrong… First of all, the place, which I have mentioned took me 45 minutes to find, is located on the 3rd floor of some random building in a BAD part of center-city Durban. After finally finding the place, I couldn’t find the parking area. I pulled over and called them up and asked where it was… Lo and behold, they said they didn’t have any parking, and that their guests usually park in a Shop Rite lot 3 blocks down the road.

Now, I’m not about to go park my car in a Shop Rite lot in a crime ridden part of the city and walk 3 blocks with a suitcase, a purse, and a laptop bag in hands… so I pulled up in front of the building to unload, checked in, and then left to go move my car to this lot.

Well, the lot did not exist. I drove back to the hostel and just parked on the street out front. The receptionist swore to me that the lot was there, but I think she was crazy and obviously ill-informed. At this point, I was so tired and cranky that I would rather just take my chances of leaving the car where it was, and just pray to the gods that it would still be there in the morning.

So I went in and checked out my room. I had booked a private room, which was actually more like a closet with two bunk beds, approximately 2 feet width, mattresses 2 inches thick, and greasy stained bedsheets. Oh, and rocks for pillows. OK, not the most inviting, but I can deal.

I settled in and eventually went to go use the shared bathrooms. I have nothing to say about the bathrooms except for this: The outhouses I used along the trek to Everest Base Camp with piles of excrement 3 feet high were nicer than the bathrooms here.

K, again. I felt disgusted, but I could deal. After my unpleasant experience with the bathrooms, I decided to go make myself dinner in the kitchen… The Kitchen…. Oh, what can I say about this kitchen… Crusty dishes piled all over the sink/counters; “clean” dishes in the cupboards with food crust all over them; piles of trash bags in every corner; a fridge with its door wide open, emitting some foul odors; and cockroaches. Cockroaches, all over the damn place. I was ready to pack my stuff and sleep in the car…

But no, I’m a grown woman, I’ve endured some gross shit before… I can deal with this. I lost my appetite and just decided to go browse the internet for an alternative accommodation before attempting to sleep. Of course, the WIFI was crap so I wasn’t able to do much searching, and just put my head phones in and laid myself to rest. If it weren’t for the paper thin walls and the CHILDREN (who brings children to a backpackers lodge?!) in the room next to me, I would have gone to sleep and forgotten about my troubling experiences that day. But no, I was kept awake all night by screaming babies and loud drunk twenty year olds.

Shit, I must be getting old.

Well anyway, I rose the next morning, booked a stay at a new guest lodge, and checked out. I literally wouldn’t have been able to handle another night there. So I went to the beach and drowned my sorrows in sand and sunlight 🙂

The beach I went to was called Umhlanga Rocks. Basically a tourist beach with some cool rock formations along the shore. I laid back, read my book, watched a bunch of kitesurfers ride the waves, strolled up and down the Rio de Janiero-like boardwalk, and chilled. I was feeling much better just knowing I didn’t have to go back to that craphole for another night.

After tiring from the beach, I went and checked into the new guesthouse. Good lord, this place was literally HEAVEN compared to the hell I had endured in the backpackers. Nice big king sized bed with clean sheets, soft pillows, a waterfall shower, a minibar, a foodie cafe attached to the guesthouse, peace and quiet, etc… Yeah, I really am getting old.

I showered, had myself a french-pressed coffee, lounged in my robe for a while before heading out to get a famous Durban “Bunny Chow”. Now, a bunny chow is basically curry served in a hollowed out loaf of bread. You can get them in whole, half, or quarter loaves. The picture you see below is a quarter loaf, and even I couldn’t finish that. They are traditionally served with a series of accompaniments, including a sweet tomato and onion relish, a spicy pickled carrot slaw, and a sweet and sour type carrot slaw.

All in all, Durban was a fun trip, and a great learning experience!

Alright, this post has been the longest one I’ve produced yet, and I’m getting tired of writing. So here I leave you with a few random photos that bring me joy 🙂

Some monkeys chillin’ on the side of the road near the Durban office

Uncle Chris and Aunt Lindi’s precious new addition to their family – Dexter!

Sweet little Dexter ❤ I miss having cats!

Some turtles publicly displaying their affection towards one another in the Woodlands Office Park… these two were really gettin’ their groove on.

Reflections

So I have nothing particularly exciting or specific to report, but I thought it would be interesting to simply record some philosophical perspectives of my overall experience here in South Africa (remember — this blog is merely here to serve as a sort of “public diary,” in which I can simply rant and rave about my experiences, emotions, perspectives, etc.. whilst making my thoughts available to the public.) I sincerely apoligize if at any point I am not entertaining to you, but I will be downright selfish in saying that this blog isn’t for you. It’s for me.

It’s been a little over 2.5 months since I dropped my entire life in the USA for a new life here in Johannesburg, South Africa. Part of me wishes I had something more dramatic and interesting to report. And another part of me is [understandably] perfectly happy with the fact that I haven’t gone crazy… yet. But realistically, I am doing quite well. I anticipated a serious nervous breakdown within the first few weeks. I mean, I’ve had experiences in the past where I simply went on vacation and had severe anxiety from homesickness… But for some reason, I feel perfectly fine here. This is my new home.

Work life is stressful, yet invigorating. I am doing things way above and beyond anything I’ve done previously with my company… I am very much in over my head. BUT, I am thriving on the adrenaline of the challenges I face and I’m incredibly thankful to have been granted the opportunity to do something bigger. I’m taking things in stride and learning a great deal along the way. And just because something is difficult now, that doesn’t mean it’s going to be difficult forever. We live, we learn, we grow, and we excel. As is the case with everything we do in life.

My social life is exhausting (in a good way!). I have met so many amazing people so far, and there is something new and exciting to do every day. Dinner parties, InterNations Social Events (aka expat meet-and-greets), archery lessons, rugby matches, beer festivals, club dancing, wildlife exploration, Friday after-work happy hours, yoga classes, craft markets, beer brewing socials, etc… And yet there is still so much more to explore and experience! I’m starting to think 2 years here isn’t going to be enough time to truly soak in the experience of living in Africa.

So in other news, I have a 17-day trip to Cape Town scheduled over Christmas. Part of that will be work, the other part will be fun 🙂 I plan to visit the famous vineyards of Stellenbosch, Paarl, and Franschoek… I plan to take the most difficult hiking route up Table Mountain (then rappel down)… I plan to climb Lion’s Head mountain and subsequently paraglide off the top… I plan to jump in a cage and get face to face with Great White Sharks… among a number of other exciting and adventurous activities. I’m looking forward to some time away from work and the chance to experience some of the natural wonders that South Africa has to offer.

Also, my 28th birthday is coming up next week. Seeing as how last year on my birthday I was just a short length away from the highest point on this beautiful Earth, spending my day hiking with amazing people towards the Mt. Everest Base Camp, I figured it would only be appropriate to embark on another hiking adventure this year 🙂 If all goes as planned, I will be completing the Amphitheatre Hike in the Drakensberg Mountains near the border of Lesotho with some colleagues. It’s allegedly one of the most beautiful hikes in South Africa, and also one of the more dangerous 🙂 Google it. It’s going to be a blast!

Pictures and more exciting news to come soon!

If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? – T.S. Eliot

Cloudy With a Chance of Blog Posts

Well today is the first cloudy and downright dreary day that I’ve experienced in Joburg yet.  I actually went to a local homebrew shop earlier in a town called Emmarentia, and planned to visit the nearby Johannesburg Botanical Gardens and Emmarentia Dam after my lunch there, but it seems blasphemous to walk around beautiful gardens on a crappy day like today.  So, I decided to come home and write another long overdue blog post.

I have much to say, so I’m going to structure this post to be a non-flowing mass of “articles” about the various elements of my time here in the past few weeks.

Crazy Landlord Lady

For those of you who read my last blog post, I closed on a note of having quite an interesting experience at the B&B my company had staged me in for my first month here. Here’s the backstory…

The B&B, located in a suburb known as Paulshof, was quite quaint, pretty, secluded, quiet, had seemingly friendly owners, etc… All good things.  Within several days of arriving, however, I came to learn that this B&B did not serve breakfast… WTF! So why is it called a “Bed & Breakfast” if they don’t serve breakfast? Ugh, aggravating… but not the end of the world. I will survive.

Within a week of arrival, I came to learn that the B&B, or shall I say “B”, owners fought with one another — a lot. If I haven’t already mentioned, the owners are a couple, they are alcoholics, and the woman is CRAZY. So, naturally, couples are prone to fighting here and there. But not like these two! We would hear shouting matches late at night, doors slamming, etc… One of my colleagues who has been staying at the B&B for over a year had mentioned that he even heard the sounds of plates and glass breaking quite often during these fights. Needless to say, my opinion of the B&B was becoming less and less with each passing day.

The icing on the cake, you ask? Well, for completely legitimate and personal reasons (totally aside from all negative aspects of this B&B) another one of my colleagues who arrived at this B&B the same time that I did asked my company if they could change B&B’s. The company complied, and broke the 3 month contract they had set up with this B&B so they could move my colleague to a new place.

Not surprisingly, the B&B owners were upset about losing the business… but the crazy lady took things a little too far. Although I did not break any contracts (since I was only supposed to be there for a month anyway), I was inevitably associated with the company who DID break a contract with this place, so I was pleasantly greeted one afternoon with some nasty verbal assault from the crazy psycho lady. I don’t see any need to go into details about what she said specifically to me or my colleagues, but let’s just say she was drunk, incoherent, and very threatening. All of this happened on a public holiday, but we decided to call our HR director to let them know this lady was trying to throw us out. So, the HR reps from my company took time out of their day off to come rescue us from the wrath of hell! We were put into a new B&B for the remainder of our contract terms.

Don’t think the company is going to be using this B&B anymore 🙂

My New Apartment

After several months of looking at apartment listings on various websites, I started to view several within a week or so of arriving in Joburg. After looking at 4 or 5, I found one that I just absolutely adored 🙂 It’s in a suburb known as Parktown North, which is just north of the CBD (Central Business District). While I’m not in “downtown” Johannesburg, I am still in an area with lots of shops, cafes, restaurants, spas, malls, gyms, yoga studios, etc… Everything I need — and most of it within walking distance.

Despite the horrendous Johannesburg traffic, my commute to work is fair — approximately 15 km, which takes 30-35 minutes each way during rush hour traffic. This is actually quite ideal, since my commute from work to the B&B was less distance, but took more time.

The only downsides to my new flat are: 1.) It is unfurnished, and 2.) No pets allowed.  OK so the no pets thing is probably a good thing, since trying to bring a kitty with me whenever I move back to the USA might prove to be difficult. But I will certainly miss the comfort of a little furry friend while I’m living here.  As for the unfurnished bit? Well, in my house hunting adventures, I came to note that furnished places were considerably more expensive than unfurnished. So I did some research on the average cost of household necessities, and realized that the money I’d spend on furnishings was actually less than the average differential of furnished and unfurnished apartments. So, not a big deal from a financial perspective. But from a convenience perspective? Ag! (<– a South African-ism) Trying to buy furniture is a pain in the ass! I initially had trouble in my attempts to purchase anything online because of some banking glitches. But when I got the banking glitches sorted out, I still had trouble. There was one company who required a South African ID number to buy anything (aka they refuse to sell to non-citizens), and another with whom I had some order processing issues. I called their customer service hotline, and when nothing was accomplished then, I actually went to the store to try and get things sorted out. Even THEN nothing was solved. I never thought customer service could be so terrible. As always though, it could be worse. I can’t complain too much…. Pics of the new place below (unfurnished, of course). I’ll post more once I get it all furnished and decorated!

Joburg Festival of Beer!

Yes, another beer festival. I just can’t resist! This one was held a local rugby stadium, just 1.5 km away from my new pad! I went with a couple of friends from work, and had yet another amazing beer experience. I tried some beer from a small brewery up in Rustenburg called Brauhaus am Damm, and their Wiessbier was ASTONISHINGLY good! I’m not huge on Weissbiers, but this one was definitely noteworthy. I spoke with the brewmaster for a while (who was a woman, by the way) and decided that I had to get back into brewing beer while I’m in South Africa. The kits here are relatively inexpensive, so why not?  My one work buddy who came with is also a homebrewer, so he bought some ingredients to do a small-batch IPA that we could brew together the following weekend.

I never thought I would have so many beer-related things to do here in South Africa 🙂

CSM Quarterly Social

As I mentioned in a previous post, I work for an environmental consulting firm. The team I work with specifically is known as the “Contaminated Site Management” or “CSM” team. To sum it up for you, my team basically investigates and remediates sites with soil or groundwater contamination.

Anyway, that’s beside the point. The CSM team here in the Joburg office holds a social gathering every few months, and we just had our last one on October 3rd. The theme for this event was ‘World Foods’ where we split into 5 groups, and each group would collaborate and bring in one type of ethnic cuisine. Well somehow, someone came up with the idea of having American food as one of the 5 ethnic food groups, and naturally, I was nominated to lead this group. I still don’t know why American food was chosen since there really is no true “American” cuisine, but what the hell. I figured we could braai (grille) some mini burgers or something simple. Unfortunately I didn’t have a lot I could do since I was still living in the B&B at the time and didn’t really have a kitchen available to make anything. So burgers worked out great. My team and I bought the ingredients the day of the event, formed up some patties, and braai-ed them during the social. It was a rather unoriginal idea, but probably the best I could come up with that is truly American and simple enough to make. One of my team members thought it would be a good idea to serve some Jack Daniels, as well. Very American, indeed 🙂

The other teams served Indian, Malaysian, Mexican, and South African cuisine. The Malaysian and Indian teams just ordered food from local restaurants (boring!) but the food was good none the less… The mexican team made fajitas and served some chips with guac and salsa… and the South African team made a poijtkie, which is basically a pot roast/stew kind of thing. It literally translates to “small pot” I think. And the poijtkie they made apparently contained wildebeest meat! It was super yummy.

Overall, a very enjoyable evening for the local CSM team 🙂

I suppose I should have taken pictures of the people and food at the CSM quarterly social, but instead I focused on the little toads hopping around the Boma (the outdoor venue within the office park where the social was held).

Brewing Beer with Hennie

Last Saturday, I went to brew that IPA with my friend Hennie from work. Another friend from work, Peter (the Aussie I have previously mentioned… also the same guy who lived at the infamous B&B for over a year) also joined us at the brew session. It was quite an interesting dynamic because Peter has been with the company for a while and is a Technical Director within our Impact Assessment Planning team — aka he’s a bigwig. I am a “Consultant II” or a project manager who’s been with the company for 4 years, and Hennie is a junior level field geologist with under a year of experience. I’ve never experienced such a range of consultant levels all hanging out together as friends. I loved it!

So as I mentioned earlier, the beer we brewed was an IPA. I say “we”, but Hennie pretty much did all of the work. Hennie also came up with the idea of adding peach juice to the boil and then adding peaches to the fermenter. Since Hennie is a fellow metalhead, and all of the beers he’s brewed have had metal themed names, we decided it would only be appropriate to come up with a metal themed name for this one as well. Some of the contenders include Number of the Peach, Judas Peach, Son of a Peach, Vlad the Impeacher, Vlad the Impale Ale… We haven’t chosen one yet, but I’m leaning towards Judas Peach 🙂

A pic of the metal themed beers I brought to the brewing session. Skeleton Coast IPA and Bone Crusher were quite delish!

Randlords

Randlords is a 22nd floor rooftop bar/lounge/concert venue located in Braamfontein, just north of the city. I went there last Sunday with a few work friends for a “sundowner” (aka sunset party) and to watch some local rock/blues bands play. It was a crazy fun night with beautiful sunset views. See for yourself (again, sorry… these pics were snapped with the every-so-shitty Blackberry camera).

A view of Nelson Mandela bridge from Randlords bar.

Looking Northeast towards Sandton City. Note the upper-most window in the building — it’s the girl’s bathroom 🙂

A rug within the Randlords bar — mimics a slice of blue agate, eh? I couldn’t NOT take a picture of a geology themed rug!

Pre-sunset view of the Sentech Tower.

Early sunset view of Sentech Tower.

Mid-sunset view of Sentech Tower.

Close-to-the-end-sunset view of Sentech Tower.

OK… closer-to-the-end view of Sentech Tower.

Seriously, last one, I promise… really-really-close-to-the-end-sunset view of Sentech Tower.

Colleagues and their significant others.

Bluesy rock band… think they were called Raoul and Black Friday. Not bad!

Consulting Skills Workshop

This past week, a bunch of the Consultant I’s and II’s were sent on a “Consulting Skills Workshop.” The workshop was held at the Zebra Country Lodge located northeast of Pretoria. The lodge is situated on a game reserve, and needless to say, there are zebras all over the place!

The workshop itself was enlightening and entertaining. We learned some valuable consulting skills (and I even slightly conquered my fear of public speaking!). But most importantly, we all had a lot of fun! It was two days long, so we stayed overnight at the lodge. The company surprised us with a little treat after the workshop on Day 1, which was a game ride through the reserve. The tour guides were incredibly informative, and the guide I had was particularly keen on describing the mating habits of the various animals we saw 😉  During the game ride, we were taken to a lookout (looks over the game reserve) and provided with a cooler full of beer and cider to sip on before heading back for dinner. We all had some drinks and played pool after dinner. And I must say, the pool balls they use here in South Africa are a lot smaller than those we use back in the States. Inevitably, this observation lead to an evening filled with very inappropriate banter!

Room at the Zebra Lodge.

Another view of the room at Zebra Lodge.

Game ride!!!!!!!

A not-so-good pic of a Kudu.

Moonlight over wild horses.

Our guide. Wish I could remember his name…

Colleagues on a separate buggy.

Zebras — straight chillin.

A shitty picture of a beautiful sunset.

Giraffe’s definitely got dumps like a truck (what, what)

Surprised this picture came out visible — a horse grazing literally right outside of my room at Zebra Lodge at like 12:30am.

Miscellaneous

I finally dragged myself to the local Bikram yoga studio here in Joburg last night. After several months of stress, anxiety, and alcoholism (yes, the wine here is good), I needed to detox — BAD! It was a tough class, but I feel so much better after going. I bought a 10-day first timer’s special, so my goal is to go to a class there every day for the full 10 days! One down, nine more to go!

I had lunch today at a place called District 6 in Emmarentia. They are known to serve pretty authentic South African food, so I went there, read a magazine, and enjoyed a Bobotie, which is kind of like a sweet Shepherd’s Pie with minced beef, raisins, and almonds, and instead of mashed potatoes on top, there is a thin layer of egg. It was friggin’ awesome!

Bobotie! Even the veggies were flavored with something sweet and spicy!

Tonight, I’m planning on going to dinner with one of the new recruits at the Joburg office. Her name is Perrine, and she hails from Belgium — the land of amazing beer! She just moved here with her husband to work on the CSM team doing the same things I’m doing. Obviously her and her husband also appreciate good beer, so I’m going to show them The Foundry, which is an amazing restaurant with an amazing selection of craft beer. And it’s right down the road from my place :).

But for now, off to round 2 of my 10 yoga sessions. Wish me luck!

Chronicles of My Life in Joburg

Meeting Uncle Chris, Beer, and Hailstorms

OK, so Uncle Chris actually my dad’s cousin, but it seems appropriate to call him an uncle. I only came to learn of Chris’s existence through Facebook back in 2010. Having known that he lived in Johannesburg, Uncle Chris was very integral in my decision to move to Johannesburg, as well as my overall transition to life here. We had been in touch via Facebook and e-mail, but I only had the chance to actually meet him and his lovely wife Lindi last weekend here in Joburg.

Chris and Lindi took my friend Zoe and me out for an incredibly fun-filled day here. Chris knew of my interest in wildlife, so our day started with a visit to Croc City, which is a crocodile and reptile park founded by a couple of passionate herpetologists. In addition to crocs, Croc City had a bunch of indigenous and “imported” reptiles from all over the world (some of which I was able to hold). Wonderful time!

A lovely display of reptilian affection…

Holding an albino Burmese python… I almost toppled to the ground while holding this thing with how heavy it was!

This is a Chilean Rose Tarantula… one of the least harmful tarantulas around. However, rumor has it that if you blow on, or aggravate in any way, this little guy, his defense mechanism is to shed and “spray” his hairs out, and if those hairs get into your eyes you will soon be learning to read braille and walking with a cane… Serious stuff!

We then migrated over to the Lion and Rhino Park nearby… The park was basically a “mini safari” where you can drive through some protected game lands and view the wildlife from your car, but also contained an animal “creche” where you can walk around some animal habitats, and even snuggle with some baby lion cubs 🙂 We also had a “braii” (aka a South African barbeque) while at the park, where Chris and Lindi cooked us up some sausage and steaks (pleasantly accompanied by HP sauce!!!)

Our wonderful fun-filled day of wildlife exploration ended with a lovely evening at the famous Montecasino in Johannesburg. Montecasino is a well-known tourist destination here, which contains (obviously) a casino, as well as a bunch of restaurants, shops, a movie theatre, and a comedy stage. We grabbed some much needed coffee before moving on to see a comedy show. I was pleasantly surprised with how funny the comedians were at this show. A lot of the South African specific humor may have gone right over my head, but I was still blessed with an abundance of laughs and smiles from the 4-5 comedians that performed.

…overall, an amazing day! I think my pal Zoe would agree 🙂 Thanks Chris and Lindi!!!

So what else is new in the world of Kirby? Umm, as per usual, too much to write about. But one VERY important aspect of my life here worth sharing was my first BEER FESTIVAL here in Joburg 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

OK. Let me preface this story by reiterating the notion that South Africa is not known for having good beer. This seems to be known by everyone in the world except South Africans. It’s ok… they haven’t really had much opportunity to try good beer from Belgium, Germany, or AMERICA!!! So, they think they are quite good at beer (sorry natives, you aren’t quite there yet, but you get an A+ for effort!).

You all already know — I’m a snob when it comes to beer. I’m sorry. And I’m not sorry. I’ve found something in this world that I can appreciate more than a lot of people, and I’m not ashamed to say that I think my opinions could be valued in the world of beer. So, when I say that I didn’t expect much from South African beer, most would concur.

HOWEVER (and this is a big ‘however’), I was pleasantly surprised to try a multitude of pretty decent beers at the Sandton Beer and Music Festival this past weekend…. lots of good beer, PLUS a colleague who performed as a musician at the festival. He’s a very talented guitarist capable of finger-tapping and generally being an incredibly successful one-man-band. Truly impressive! There was a good turn-out of fellow coworkers, so it was a wonderfully social, fun, and somewhat ‘business’ related gathering! And most importantly, my mind has finally been opened up to the possibility that maybe South Africa has some decent brews to sample!

In other news, I was delighted to have had my first taste of a Johannesburg storm right after the beer festival… I had heard some stories about the hail that plagues Johannesburg weather, but I didn’t really take it seriously until I was caught in my first storm this past Saturday night.

…HOLY. MOTHER. OF. GOD.

I have never experienced such a frightening hailstorm until then. One minute Zoe and I were driving along to meet a friend of hers for dinner in beautiful sunny and warm weather, and the next minute we were pulled over on the side of the road praying to some God that this hail didn’t shatter the windshield of my car or that the flash flooding didn’t carry me off the road…. See for yourself…

…quite an experience, to say the least.

Well everyone, I’m sorry for the delay in blog posts… Unfortunately, the internet at the B&B I had been staying at was quite faulty, so it has been difficult for me to connect and keep in touch with the cyber world. However, this internet connection issue is actually one of the lesser faults that I can attribute to the said B&B… But that, my friends, is a whole different story in itself. You will just have to stay tuned for the next post to hear all about that one.

Peace out beautiful people. I will be in touch soon enough!